fbpx

STRONGER TOGETHER: Beyond the Celebration -Diagnosis Challenges for Neurodivergent Women

Last updated:
28/03/2024

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This Neurodiversity Celebration Week, Tanya reflects on the challenges faced by neurodivergent women and girls, whose experiences are often overlooked, misdiagnosed, or even dismissed.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

As our understanding of neurodiversity evolves, so does our appreciation for the unique ways our brains function. During Neurodiversity Celebration Week, from March 18 to 24, we celebrate the progress we have made as a community in changing the narrative around neurodiversity through increased acceptance, understanding, and education. However, we also recognise that there is still much work to be done.

There persists a significant gap in understanding, particularly affecting neurodivergent girls and women, whose experiences and obstacles often remain hidden. The diagnostic journey for these women can be fraught with challenges.

Societal biases and diagnostic criteria primarily derived from male presentations of neurodivergent traits contribute to the disparity in diagnosis rates. Neurodivergent females, particularly those with conditions such as autism or ADHD, may exhibit different behavioural patterns compared to males, leading to their symptoms being overlooked, misdiagnosed, or even dismissed.

Moreover, the prevalence of co-occurring conditions like anxiety or depression among neurodivergent females further complicates the diagnostic process, often masking underlying neurodevelopmental differences.

While there has been a notable increase in the identification of girls and women with autism or ADHD, they continue to be significantly underrepresented. Research indicates that by the age of 18, approximately 80% of autistic females remain undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. For these women and girls, the lack of support, the exhausting effort of masking to appear neurotypical, and missed opportunities to establish accommodating environments can result in severe mental health consequences.

Early and accurate diagnosis is paramount in facilitating appropriate interventions and support services, yet neurodivergent women and girls are frequently left without the resources they need to thrive. The consequences of misdiagnosis or lack of diagnosis can be profound, impacting academic, social, and emotional development.

To bridge this diagnostic gap and ensure equitable access to support and resources, concerted efforts are needed at multiple levels. Firstly, there is a pressing need for increased awareness and education surrounding neurodiversity, particularly in relation to the unique manifestations of neurodivergent traits in females. Healthcare professionals, educators, and policymakers must undergo comprehensive training to recognise and address the specific needs of neurodivergent women and girls.

Additionally, there is a critical need for research focusing on gender-specific presentations of neurodevelopmental conditions. By better understanding the nuances of how these conditions manifest in females, we can refine diagnostic criteria and improve the accuracy of assessments. Moreover, research can also inform the development of targeted interventions and support services tailored to the needs of neurodivergent women and girls.

Creating inclusive and supportive environments is essential for fostering the well-being and success of neurodivergent individuals. This involves not only providing access to appropriate healthcare and educational resources but also challenging societal norms and stereotypes that may contribute to the underrepresentation and marginalisation of neurodivergent females.

As we commemorate Neurodiversity Celebration Week, let us reaffirm our commitment to promoting acceptance, understanding, and inclusion for all neurodivergent individuals, regardless of gender. By recognising and addressing the diagnostic gap faced by neurodivergent women and girls, we can work towards a future where every individual receives the support and recognition they need to thrive. Together, let us strive towards a society that celebrates the diversity of human cognition and values the unique perspectives and contributions of all its members.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the paradox of modern parenting, where children are physically protected but lack mental resilience, advocating for a recalibration of parenting approaches to foster strength and adaptability in the face of adversity.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

As the sun sets over the horizon, casting a warm glow on the playground, parents gather to watch their children play. The laughter, scraped knees, and impromptu games of tag evoke a sense of nostalgia—a reminder of our own carefree days. But in this idyllic scene, a paradox unfolds—one that demands our attention and reflection.

In our quest to safeguard the well-being of the younger generation, we’ve become adept at cocooning them in layers of protection. Helmets for biking, knee pads for skating, and sanitised play areas—all designed to shield our precious ones from harm. And yet, as we pad their physical world, we inadvertently strip away the very fabric of resilience—the ability to bounce back, adapt, and learn from life’s inevitable tumbles.

Remember the days when we climbed trees, scraped our elbows, and built forts from cardboard boxes? Those minor bruises were badges of honour, tokens of our adventurous spirit. We learned to assess risks, gauge our limits, and discover our inner strength. Today, the playgrounds are softer, the rules stricter, and the safety nets more robust. But what are we sacrificing in the process?

Simultaneously, our children tread a precarious tightrope in the digital realm. The virtual world, with its infinite possibilities, offers both wonder and peril. Social media platforms beckon with promises of connection, validation, and carefully curated identities. Yet, beneath the glossy filters lie hidden pitfalls—comparison, cyberbullying, and the relentless pursuit of perfection.

Our paradox lies here: We cocoon our children in bubble wrap, shielding them from scraped knees, but we expose their minds to unfiltered content. As parents and educators, we must recalibrate our approach. Resilience isn’t built by padding the world—it’s forged in the fires of adversity. It’s the scraped knee that teaches us balance, the failed test that fuels determination, and the broken heart that fosters empathy.

And then there’s the phenomenon of the “Generation Sicknote.” These are the young adults who, despite their digital prowess, struggle to cope with life and its curveballs, missing work due to mental ill health. They’ve mastered the art of crafting witty tweets and Instagram stories, yet when faced with adversity, they crumble. Why? Because resilience isn’t a hashtag.

It’s a poignant reminder of the consequences of neglecting resilience in favour of comfort and convenience. We must resist the temptation to shield our children from every bump and bruise, both physical and emotional. Instead, let’s embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth. Setbacks are not roadblocks; they are opportunities for learning and self-discovery.

In the end, resilience is not a trait that can be bestowed upon our children; it must be cultivated through experience and practice. So let us step back from our instinct to overprotect and instead, empower our children to face life’s challenges with courage and resilience. After all, it’s in the bumps and bruises of life that true strength is forged, and it’s in the face of adversity that character is revealed.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya reflects on the profound meaning of International Women's Day, while encouraging women to embrace and celebrate their imperfections as sources of strength and uniqueness.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Even when we are broken, we have the chance to rebuild ourselves.

This thought was inspired by Hannah Gadbsy who famously said, “there is nothing stronger, than a woman who has rebuilt herself.”

As we celebrate International Women's Day, it is a great opportunity to pause and reflect on our own personal journey. The pitfalls, the moments of joy, those who have been a source of inspiration and those who have brought us to tears. The lessons, scars, deepening wrinkles, all serving as reminders of the less than perfect—but highly individualised—journey that each of us has taken during our one very precious life.

When I think about my own moments of learning and challenge, I find myself reflecting on the pieces of me that bear the weight of experience. These fragments—sometimes cracked, sometimes shattered—hold stories of vulnerability, resilience, and growth. Perhaps it’s a bruised ego, a dent in self-esteem, or the weariness that accompanies life’s battles. It’s during these times that I recall the ancient Japanese art of kintsugi.

Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, translates to “golden repair.” It’s a practice that transforms broken ceramics or pottery into something extraordinary. Instead of hiding the cracks, artisans mend them with a lacquer infused with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The result? A piece that bears visible scars—a testament to its history—but now adorned with shimmering veins of precious metal.

The imperfection becomes a focal point, a celebration of resilience and transformation. When light dances across the repaired lines, it reveals a new kind of beauty—one that acknowledges the past while embracing the present.

As women, we carry our own kintsugi stories. Our wrinkles deepen with laughter and worry alike, our hearts bear the weight of love and loss, and our spirits mend after every setback. It’s time to celebrate these unique qualities—the cracks that make us whole, the scars that tell our tales. Just like the kintsugi pottery, we are no longer perfect, but we are infinitely more precious.

This International Women’s Day let’s shift our focus. Instead of dwelling on our broken or missing pieces, let’s celebrate our uniqueness. Bring to life your own version of kintsugi and celebrate the qualities within you and others that may on the outside seem imperfect but provide a beautiful opportunity to inspire inclusion within our workplaces and communities.

So, raise your metaphorical brush. Highlight your imperfections with the gold of self-acceptance and compassion. Let your cracks be a reminder that strength lies not in perfection, but in resilience and authenticity.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the challenges neurodivergent individuals face in the workplace due to a lack of understanding and accommodation, and how employers can create inclusive environments to unlock their full potential.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Imagine walking into a job interview. Your heart is racing. You've prepared thoroughly, you're well-suited for the position, and you're confident you can succeed. But as the interview progresses, you notice the interviewer's puzzled expression, their unease with the extended pauses as you strive to articulate coherent ideas, and their bewilderment at how you match all their criteria on paper. The unfamiliar setting is overwhelming, and you're grappling with sensory overload. Despite your qualifications, you leave the interview feeling disheartened, and like you've already lost the job.

This scenario is all too familiar for many neurodivergent individuals.

Despite increasing recognition of neurodiversity in the workplace, many employers are unaware of the challenges neurodivergent individuals face or how to support them effectively. This lack of awareness perpetuates the cycle of exclusion and underemployment.

Neurodiversity is a concept that recognises and values the diversity of human brains and minds. It encompasses a range of neurological differences, such as autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, and dyspraxia. These differences can present unique challenges and invisible barriers in navigating everyday life and the workplace.

One of the most significant barriers is the lack of understanding and accommodation in the workplace. Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with tasks that require focus, organisation, communication, social skills, or sensory sensitivities, which can affect their performance and well-being. Without proper support and accommodations, they may feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and excluded.

Employers, however, can play a crucial role in breaking down these barriers, starting with the recruitment stage.

Let’s revisit the interview hypothetical. Now, the interviewer is understanding and empathetic. They recognise that interviews can be overwhelming for some candidates (irrespective of if the candidate is neurodiverse) and suggest alternative methods of assessing your suitability for the role, such as a practical demonstration of your skills or a written assignment.

The interviewer also offers to conduct the interview in a quieter, more comfortable setting to minimise distractions. They reassure you that they are more interested in your abilities and potential than your performance in a high-pressure interview environment.

This approach allows you to showcase your skills and talents in a way that is more comfortable and conducive to your success. You leave the interview feeling valued and hopeful, knowing that you have been given a fair chance to demonstrate your capabilities.

By creating inclusive environments and implementing reasonable accommodations, employers can unlock the full potential of all employees, but especially neurodivergent individuals. Simple adjustments, such as flexible work schedules, quiet workspaces, assistive technologies, clear communication, or even alternatives to the ‘traditional’ interview, can make a world of difference.

Neurodivergent individuals bring a unique set of skills and perspectives that can greatly benefit organisations. For instance, individuals with autism often possess a remarkable attention to detail and an ability to focus on complex tasks for extended periods. This can be invaluable in industries such as software development, quality assurance, and data analysis, where precision and thoroughness are critical.

Similarly, individuals with ADHD may excel in roles where they can use their ability to think outside the box and approach problems from unconventional angles, which can lead to innovative solutions and new approaches to challenges.

Moreover, neurodivergent individuals often exhibit a high level of resilience, having navigated a world that may not always be accommodating to their needs. This resilience can translate into a strong work ethic, adaptability, and the ability to thrive in dynamic and fast-paced environments.

Neurodiversity in the workplace is not a challenge to overcome but an opportunity to embrace. By creating a more inclusive and productive work environment for neurodivergent people, we can enrich our teams, organisations, and communities with diverse and valuable human potential.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the importance of embracing neurodiversity, advocating for a deeper understanding and acceptance of diverse cognitive perspectives.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

“The Year I Met My Brain” is probably not the typical book that most people would be looking for at their local bookstore.  I say this not because of the author – award-winning social media reporter and presenter for The Guardian, Matilda Boseley (who is amazing by the way) – but more because Matilda wrote the book after receiving an ADHD diagnosis and pitched it as a travel companion for other adults who have also found out they have ADHD.

The reality is that the worldwide percentage of adults with this learning difference is 2.5, with males three times more likely to be diagnosed than females. This book is therefore a rare find when it comes to understanding ADHD in adults, particularly females, and is an absolute treasure for those keen to navigate and enjoy life as an ADHD adult.

The term ADHD is widely used, and therefore I have jumped in and used the abbreviated term straight up on the assumption that most of the population who know about and use the term, understand what it means. But here’s a quick refresh for those who need it.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be described as presenting in three different ways – primarily hyperactive/impulsive (ADHD-H), primarily inattentive (ADHD-I) and combined (ADHD-C). If someone speaks about ADHD generally and you asked them to describe the behaviours associated with ADHD, run of the mill responses would normally refer to children, and use terms such as disruptive in the classroom, fidgety, unable to sit still, impatient, speaks over the top of you, and is often bouncing off the walls.

What we do know however is that ADHD presents in different ways for different people, and it is not just limited to children. We also know that the medicalised model of treatment should be supported by opportunities to educate and advance our understanding of how to create cultural acceptance within our society of accommodating brains that work differently.

To this end, I would like to wrap up this article with a very clear call to action.

Neurodiversity, a term originally coined by sociologist Judy Singer in the 1990’s, is used widely to encourage a deeper conversation about how we accommodate the different ways that the brain works, specifically in people with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia and dyspraxia.

Even though the term can be contentious, Matilda uses neurodivergent unashamedly throughout her book. She wants us to elevate our thinking away from this antiquated idea of normal or healthy brains, to embracing the notion that those who identify as neurodivergent require our understanding.

Moving away from the idea that an individual’s brain, reasoning, or logic needs to be fixed or cured, and instead acknowledging the difference and specialness that they bring to everyday neurotypical perspectives. Acknowledging their uniqueness and celebrate the insights that us ‘typical’ brained folk will never understand or experience.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the human attention span, and the ultimate "cost" of the sheer volume of information we receive on a daily basis.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

In a world where the buzz of notifications competes with the quiet hum of our thoughts, the analogy of a human attention span equalling that of a goldfish—just 8 seconds—has gained traction. But how did we arrive at comparing the complexity of the human brain to that of a small aquatic creature?

Let’s park the analogy about the goldfish for a minute and consider where this view has stemmed from. The simple reality is that between new technology and social media consumption, the sheer volume of information that we are receiving is expanding way beyond our brains capacity to process it. Our thirst for knowledge far exceeds our ability to digest it, and we therefore skim content as we switch between apps or respond to a new text or email.

Imagine the blast of water that you get from a fire hose compared to the trickle that comes from a garden hose. That ‘blast’ is the daily 333.2 billion emails or the 23 billion text messages that are sent, or the content we consume through various social media channels.

Thankfully, the human brain is plastic and built to learn and adjust to the changing world and the information that we get during our daily ‘blast’. We learn to tune out the unimportant and refine our focus and attention to things that matter. Or do we? Even if we think that we are good at filtering out all of that ‘noisy’ unhelpful information, there is a cost that comes with having to undertake this daily practice.

Herbert A Simon, esteemed American social scientist, Nobel Prize Winner for Economics in 1978 and best known for his work on decision-making theory, summed it up best when he said, ‘A wealth of information creates poverty of attention.’

Today, we are rich in information, yet poor when it comes to attention and focus. We are fatigued, as our brains consume simultaneous streams of inputs from our external environment. Our brain relies on patterns – the neural superhighways that we create that enable us to form habits and undertake daily tasks – yet is challenged by the continual switching of attention back and forth between tasks. This damages our focus and erodes our productivity, leaving us with an empty tank when it comes to mental energy. Unfortunately pushing through the neural fatigue and running on empty has become the norm for many in today’s society.

Ironically, the very devices and apps designed to enhance our connectivity and productivity often serve as the primary sources of distraction, pulling us away from the present moment and fragmenting our concentration.

And while the concept of multitasking may be hailed as a coveted skill, research consistently underscores the inefficacy of dividing our cognitive resources across multiple tasks simultaneously. It’s like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle— an impressive spectacle, to be sure, but scarcely sustainable in the long run.

The good news is, however, neurologically, our attention spans haven’t drastically changed. It’s the environment that hijacks our focus. And as technology’s evolution continues to progress at speed, it is evident that we are eroding the focus required to solve our society and our planet’s most complex problems.

This isn't merely about exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout; it's about jeopardising our ability to solve human challenges thoughtfully. In this hyperconnected era, reclaiming our attention and fostering deep focus isn't just a personal pursuit; it's an imperative for collective progress.

“STRONGER TOGETHER” is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses comparative suffering, and how continually comparing our life experiences to others can make it difficult to feel, acknowledge and effectively resolve our own emotions.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

I have been dreading this day but knew that it would eventually come. Getting my front tooth knocked out playing basketball as a teenager has resulted in a range of procedures and restorations, the most recent being a crown that has lasted almost 14 years. A couple of weeks ago, the post supporting the crowned tooth cracked, and it started to wobble. With my tooth hanging on by a thread, the dentist confirmed that there was no quick fix. Treatment options were discussed, with an initial appointment scheduled for four weeks’ time, along with the parting words ‘tread gently with your tooth in the meantime’.

Unfortunately, ‘treading gently’ was unrealistic and by Saturday morning that tooth had fallen out. My immediate reaction was to retreat into lock down, mortified by my new look. Catastrophising, withdrawing from my normal routine, feeling fear and vulnerability slowly rising within me as I contemplated the next month without a front tooth.

By day two, a more ‘enlightened’ perspective had started to emerge and my heightened negativity about the situation had started to soften. “Losing a front tooth is nothing compared to what others are going through”, I kept dutifully reminding myself, finding an odd sense of comfort from diminishing my own feelings and emotions, and instead focusing on the ‘greater’ pain being experienced by others. Ranking our suffering, also known as comparative suffering, is a normal response for many of us when faced with a challenging or difficult situation. Sometimes, we even refrain from discussing certain topics or experiences because we fear reactions from others, who might think that we couldn’t possibly understand what they are going through.  

Continually comparing our life experiences to others can make it difficult to feel, acknowledge, and effectively resolve our own emotions and suffering. It can also detrimentally affect our mental health and wellbeing. Therefore, regardless of what other people are going through, it is important to gain perspective and validate our own experience. My reality when losing that tooth was that it left me feeling exposed, insecure, vulnerable, judged, inadequate and unprofessional. Those feelings were real for me, and resulted in a sense of struggle, therefore they should not be diminished or disregarded as unimportant.  

When preparing for this column, I contemplated the topic carefully, considering that it may come across as shallow or written by someone too privileged to understand the real challenges that people are facing today.  I do, however, hope that you see past the missing tooth and consider the bigger message. The reminder that we each have nuances that make us unique, incredibly special, and different. We each have experiences that generate a range of feelings, emotions and suffering that deserve our attention, validation, and curiosity.

The next time you find yourself comparing your situation to others, I encourage you to pause.

Take notice of the feelings and emotions that are coming up.

If you like to write, journal what happened and reflect on it later to see if it makes more sense. If you are a talker, find a trusted colleague, friend, or family member to debrief with. If you are finding it difficult to talk about, are deliberately suppressing feelings or trying to ignore whatever is going on, perhaps it is time to seek out some professional support. No one is immune to life’s challenges, and working with a therapist can help you to learn coping strategies, recognise unhelpful thinking patterns and identify different ways to manage your behaviour and response towards yourself and others.

Emotions and feelings will not simply go away because we believe that they are inappropriate or don’t rank high enough on the suffering scale. They are valid and deserve your attention; when we ignore them, they burrow deep down into our being. Researcher Brene Brown aptly reminds us that empathy is a vulnerable choice, one that allows us to connect not only with others but also with the depths of our own emotions. By choosing empathy, we can connect with ourselves and others. And that connection is the secret because it is where genuine healing and change can begin.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses nature versus nurture and the significance of early experiences on our life trajectories.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

The age-old question of nature versus nurture has fascinated scholars and laypeople alike, as they ponder how these two forces shape our lives. Episode Eight of our “Stronger Together” podcast explored this concept through the lens of Indigenous woman Sharon, who was separated from her family at a young age and has found herself grappling with the enduring consequences of her tumultuous childhood.

Listening to her story, it is hard to comprehend the trauma she has been through, and the challenges she continues to face in building and maintaining healthy relationships, which has resulted in social isolation and deep loneliness.

Her story invites us to think about how our early environments have a powerful impact on our life trajectories. To illustrate the nature versus nurture dilemma, we can imagine two individuals who start their lives in very different circumstances—one growing up in a family full of strong bonds and healthy relationships, the other in an environment lacking these vital elements. How does this difference shape their outcomes?

Childhood memories, which are often imprinted in our minds and hearts, form the basis of our identities. They affect how we see ourselves and the world, how we express and regulate our emotions, and how we interact with others. The significance of these early experiences becomes more apparent as we observe the different paths individuals follow based on the nurturing—or lack thereof—they receive.

It is important to acknowledge that the nature versus nurture debate is not a binary choice; rather, it is a complex interaction where both factors influence the person we become. Genetics provide us with a unique set of characteristics and tendencies. However, the environment in which we are nurtured acts as a shaper, transforming and enhancing these innate qualities into the rich mosaic of our personalities.

The benefits of a nurturing environment are clearly demonstrated in the individual who grew up in a family full of connections. Supported by a network that promoted emotional well-being, this person is likely to develop effective communication skills, adaptability, and a positive attitude towards relationships. The security and stability of their upbringing provide a solid base, enabling them to cope with the challenges and complexities of human connection with relative ease.

On the other hand, the drastically different environment experienced by the second individual—an environment devoid of emotional support and healthy relationships—creates significant obstacles. The lack of a safe base can lead to difficulties in forming and maintaining connections, which can trigger a series of problems such as social isolation and loneliness. This individual may struggle with trust issues, fear of abandonment, and an overall difficulty in establishing meaningful relationships.

This interplay between nature and nurture, reminds us of the need to be mindful in how we perceive and respond to others who may have different backgrounds and experiences than us. We often judge others for their behaviour without any regard for the circumstances that might have led them to this point. In the profound words of Harper Lee, “you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it”. Could we bring curiosity to the situation rather than judgement?

Could we bring empathy and a willingness to understand rather than bias the outcome with our own beliefs and values, forgetting that our experience may have been very different to another? When we are curious and empathetic in our interactions, we better understand others, foster a greater sense of belonging, and create a more compassionate and harmonious world for all.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses Daniel Newman's "Design Squiggle" and how it has served as a reminder that no matter how hard things get, all it takes is one strand, one glimmer of hope, to begin unravelling the mess.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

I don’t have any tattoos but have often said that if I did get one, it would be of the Design Squiggle. That ‘Squiggle’, illustrated by Daniel Newman, holds a special place in my mind and has served me well over the years as a constant reminder that no matter how hard things get, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you’ve never heard of the concept, picture a tangled mess of Christmas lights or string – that's the Design Squiggle. It vividly captures the essence of both the design process and life's challenges. In the midst of chaos, all it takes is one strand, one glimmer of hope, to begin unravelling the mess.

The Design Squiggle, much like the tangled lights, signifies the inherent messiness of the design process—we have a problem or idea, and undertake research, testing, validation, consultation, and more testing before we narrow down the design into a concept and then in some cases, a prototype. The result is always uncertain, but the messiness we experience when working through the process, while uncomfortable, is critical, as it helps us to eventually land on the final design.

Life, in many ways, mirrors the messy journey of design. At the outset, it's uncertain, an experiment. We explore different paths, discover interests, and learn about the people and experiences that bring us value, purpose, and inspiration. Yet, life is not a linear journey; it involves discomfort, disquiet, chaos, challenges, failures, and the occasional feeling of being stuck at a crossroads. In these moments, when pressure, urgency, and stress build up and I feel like I’m in a tangle, the Design Squiggle becomes my anchor.

I recognise that this is just another period of transformation and if I stick with it and commit to process of working through it, a solution will start to emerge. That is the secret – committing to doing the work. No one else can do it for you. We each need to get comfortable with sitting in the mess and working through the problem.

Instead of avoiding problems, hoping they'll disappear, I've found comfort in a structured approach:

  1. Define the Problem: What is the issue? Reflect on it, refine it, and ensure you have a crystal-clear understanding of what needs addressing.
  2. Learn from Others: Research how other people have solved the same or similar problem. What worked and what didn’t?
  3. Identify Patterns: Note common themes and identify patterns based on your research to guide you in selecting potential solutions to test.
  4. Test Solutions: Explore and test 1-2 low-cost, low-energy investment options to address the problem.
  5. Reflect and Iterate: Reflect on your experiences and learnings, evaluating what worked and what didn't. If necessary, start the process again until you find that tiny thread start to emerge and a solution starting to emerge.

Your investment of time and energy will pay off in the end, with a clearer path forward and a newfound sense of empowerment.

So, if there's a problem you've been avoiding, take a leap. Embrace the Design Squiggle philosophy, commit to the process, and watch as that tiny thread of hope emerges, leading you towards a solution.

Even without a tattoo of the Design Squiggle on my skin, its influence is ingrained in my mindset. It serves as a daily reminder that life's challenges, much like a tangled string, are uncomfortable, messy, and complex. Yet, within this messiness lies the potential for growth and learning.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses mimetic desire, a concept coined by French philosopher René Girard that refers to our innate tendency to imitate the desires and behaviours of others, ultimately shaping our very essence.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Natural mimicry is universal – plants mimic animals, animals mimic plants, animals mimic each other. Nature creates similarities, and for some species mimicry is necessary for survival. Yet the highest capacity for producing similarities is humans, and while the magnetic thread of mimetic desire is largely unconscious, many would argue that when humans mimic, they are aware of what they are doing.

Coined by the esteemed French philosopher René Girard, mimetic desire refers to our innate tendency to imitate the desires and behaviours of others, permeating aspirations, decisions, and relationships. It's a force that silently shapes our preferences, defines our pursuits, and moulds the very essence of who we are.

Think back to the last time you discovered a new passion or adopted a fresh perspective. Perhaps it was an obscure hobby, a newfound love for a certain cuisine, or even an unexpected career choice. More often than not, these inclinations stem from observing others, whether through direct interactions or the omnipresent lens of social media. Perhaps you would like to improve a skill or increase your knowledge in a certain area – is your first instinct to search the internet to see what others are doing?

Mimetic desire acts as a subtle undercurrent, steering us towards goals and ideals that mirror those we admire. Imagine a friend who, inspired by the glowing fitness journey of a social media influencer, embarks on a similar path. The exercise routines, the dietary adjustments, and even the carefully curated Instagram posts all become reflections of an aspirational ideal.

The impact of mimetic desire becomes particularly pronounced in the age of social media. Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok serve as virtual bazaars of desires, showcasing an array of lifestyles, fashion trends, and career trajectories. A casual scroll through these platforms can leave us feeling both inspired and vulnerable to the allure of mimetic forces.

While mimetic desire can be a powerful motivator, it's essential to approach it with a discerning eye. The images and narratives presented on social media are often meticulously crafted, offering a curated glimpse into the lives of others. What appears as seamless perfection may be a mere snapshot, concealing the trials and tribulations that accompany every journey.

In the quest for authenticity, it's crucial to balance inspiration with self-reflection. Instead of blindly following the herd, take a moment to introspect. What truly resonates with your values and aspirations? Are your choices a reflection of your authentic self, or are they an attempt to fit into a preconceived mould?

Navigating the currents of mimetic desire requires mindfulness and self-awareness. As Oscar Wilde reminds us ‘Be yourself; everybody else is already taken.’ Embrace the positive aspects of influence, but don't let it dictate your path entirely. Use social media as a source of inspiration rather than a blueprint for your life. Remember, the most fulfilling journeys are often those guided by your unique compass, not the shadows of someone else's.

In a world that constantly bombards us with external influences, understanding the dynamics of mimetic desire empowers us to make choices aligned with our true selves. By maintaining a balance between admiration and authenticity, we can navigate the currents of life with a steady hand, charting a course that reflects our individuality amidst the sea of collective desires.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses "Destination Happiness Syndrome" and the fine balance that exists between planning for tomorrow and embracing today.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

The concept of "Destination Happiness Syndrome" recently surfaced in a conversation centred around superannuation, retirement, and work. The discussion wasn’t exactly uplifting—people spend most of their lives working, dutifully accumulating superannuation in anticipation of a long and fulfilling retirement. It highlighted a tendency to focus on a distant future, while postponing dreams and bucket list items until retirement.

This conversation struck a chord. Maybe it was because since turning 50, retirement planning has become more of a priority and focus. Or maybe because a close friend of my husband has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer.

Too often, planning and working for the ‘destination’ distracts us from living in the present, and it takes a life-changing event to shake us back into reality and remind us to prioritise what is important to us—today. 

Let’s face it, reflecting on our own mortality is a poignant reminder that none of us know what is around the corner and the reality is, the ‘destination’, and therefore that bucket list, will not materialise for some of us.

Yet rather than advocating for recklessness and discarding future planning, let's explore how we can construct a life list for today that enables us to make conscious choices that will help to kick some of those bucket list goals sooner.

Drawing from Kate Christie's insights in "The Life List," key themes for consideration include health and wellbeing, wealth, adventure, growth, giving, relationships, lifestyle, and environment. She also suggests that a life list contains Go Big Goals, Go Small Goals and Go Now Goals.

Go Big Goals are ambitious endeavours that require planning, preparation, and months or even years of dedication. One of my Go Big Goals is to write two books, and I am already on my way towards achieving this.

Go Small Goals, involving two to three activities each month, provide a sense of continual progress towards something meaningful. For me, Go Small Goals involve learning, experimenting with new recipes, incorporating daily exercise, and dedicating time to reading books or articles related to wellbeing. I am also looking for ways to cut back on spending, so when those pesky promotional emails pop into my inbox, I am trying to remain strong by hitting unsubscribe BEFORE getting hooked into scrolling! These activities support me to practice self-leadership consistently, which in turn, enables me to achieve goals associated with maintaining my physical and mental wellbeing.

Go Now Goals encourage spontaneity and are all about saying yes when opportunities present. Want to catch up for a coffee? Sure, have you got some time now? Instead of putting things off, Go Now Goals can be gamechangers, as they encourage us to focus on the things within The Life List that we can do now instead of pushing pause and putting off until sometime in the future. 

A week before Christmas, I walked into the vet to get some heart medication for my dog. Before I left, I had committed to buying a puppy and by Christmas Eve, we had him home! Probably not something that I would encourage for everyone, but it is a great example of a Go Now Goal that I didn’t need to put off until another day.

To get started, take time to reflect on what you value, what you spend your money and time on, who you admire and why. Write down 1-2 experiences, changes, or habits under your Go Big, Go Small and Go Now Goals and consider each of the themes and which ones resonate most for you. Currently, health and wellbeing, wealth, growth, and lifestyle are the themes that are most important to me, therefore I prioritise activities that support me to progress in each of these areas on a weekly basis.

Your life list is personal; keep it flexible for when plans change and celebrate the successes. While I plan for a fulfilling retirement, I refuse to wait until the age of 65 to pursue what matters most.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the concept of the "rethinking cycle", coined by organisational psychologist Adam Grant. It's about acknowledging what we don’t know, irrespective of our expertise on a particular subject, and paves the way for recapturing our childlike curiosity to learn more about the things we don’t know.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Sometimes, there are barriers that prevent us from doing the things that we really want to do. Maybe it is applying for that dream job, joining a gym or sporting team, or perhaps even asking someone out for a coffee. My thing is writing a book. And my belief (the barrier) is that while I know writing a book IS possible and within my capability, I keep staggering at the starting line because 1) I don’t know exactly what I want to write about, 2) I get concerned about how much value my book will create for the reader and 3) I think that I need to be completely prepared and ready to go with all the information before getting started.

This response is probably something that others can relate to, given that many of us have experienced moments in time when we have sensed an opportunity and then stalled – shelving it until the planets have aligned.

The reality is that the planets will rarely deliver the things that we want until we are ready to do the work. Prepared to take that first courageous step and accept that we will learn what we need to along the way. Willing to learn through experience, and a process of unlearning and relearning as we develop and grow. This rethinking cycle unfolds with intellectual humility at its core.

According to organisational psychologist Adam Grant, acknowledging what we don’t know, irrespective of our expertise on a particular subject, paves the way for doubting our convictions and cultivates curiosity about learning more about those things that we don’t know.

Others behave quite differently. Their path is one of remaining steadfast to what is known, diligently sharing their pearls of wisdom, and doubling down on their area of expertise in a way that leads them to consider themselves experts in their chosen field. Grant would describe this as the overconfidence cycle, where people are proud of what they know, and are willing to share it with anyone who will listen.  This can lead to an unwarranted confidence that sets the stage for confirmation bias, propelling individuals to only seek out information that aligns to their worldview, and results in a closed loop of validation that intensifies their pride for what they know.

Children approach the world so differently to adults. Their approach is one of wonder, curiosity, and an eagerness to experience and learn. Their minds are open, devoid of the overconfidence and fixed worldviews that can come with age and experience. So often caught up in overconfidence and a need for validation, as adults we can close the door to the very curiosity that once defined our early years.

The rethinking cycle, as advocated by Grant, invites us to recapture that childlike curiosity. It begins with acknowledging our intellectual limitations and embracing the doubts that accompany them. Rather than viewing new knowledge as a declaration of expertise, it becomes a humble acknowledgment of our progress in an expansive universe of information.

Imagine a world where every new breakthrough, every learning experience, was not the benchmark for the culmination of knowledge. What if instead it was a symbol of the vastness of what remains to be explored. The rethinking cycle invites us into this world of discovery, emboldening us to nudge open the door and foster a mindset that eagerly anticipates the next stage of progress. Encourages us to be brave, and ready to venture into the unknown.

My bold step has been to join the Expert Author Community, where I am surrounded by published authors (kind of scary but very cool), and others like me, who are prepared to join with one simple idea. Willing to be patient and explore the world through a lens of curiosity and openness, knowing that the storyline will develop over time. How about you? Do you have beliefs that are holding you back from doing the things that you really want to do?

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya reflects on the past year, recalling the moments that sparked joy, challenges overcome, and unexpected sources of inspiration that can serve as the impetus for meaningful change in 2024.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

As we approach the start of a new year, the customary rush to set (often over-) ambitious resolutions can overshadow the transformative potential found in a moment of reflection. Before plunging headlong into the hustle of 2024, let's engage in a thoughtful pause, guided by three simple yet profound questions: What experiences brought joy and fulfilment to you over the last 12 months? What truly energised you? How can you integrate these positive elements into your plans for the coming year?

Reflection on the past year is more than a ritual; it's a powerful exercise in self-awareness. Recalling the moments that sparked joy, the challenges we overcame, and the unexpected sources of inspiration can guide our path forward. Whether it was a work project that ignited passion, a newfound hobby, or moments spent with loved ones, these are the building blocks of a purposeful life.

When reflecting on the last 12 months, my personal moments of joy and challenge were not linked to an award or performance. The moments that lit me up were the belly laughs that I have had after my husband shared stories from his day. The day that my son moved in with his partner, and seeing the love and attention that he shows towards her. Spending time in the garden and watching our plants and vegs thrive, and the thrill I get from sharing our harvest with family and friends. Hitting every workout that was planned and debunking my GP’s diagnosis that I will never hike or do long distance walks again. The day our vet told me that our beautiful ageing dogs were doing okay, and even though their hearts aren’t great, they were not in pain and were still enjoying life.

These moments, genuinely fuel my sense of purpose and connection, and are the building blocks that create the resilience to overcome challenges when they come my way. They also pave the way for me to do all the other cool things that I look forward to in life.

In the spirit of James Clear's insightful quote, "You are not the cause for everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to everything that happens to you," let's focus on the power of intentional responses. I encourage you to pause, and this year use this time for the type of reflection that will allow you to create the impetus for meaningful change.

Instead of rehashing the same old resolutions that usually fade with time, channel your energy into amplifying the activities that brought you joy this year. If workplace camaraderie was the source, find ways to strengthen team bonds. If a creative pursuit energised you, intentionally allocate time for it in your schedule. Personally, exercise is the first thing that goes into my calendar each day. I even invested in a home gym to make sure that there are no longer any excuses, and as a result, my workout completion rate finished bang on 100% in the last 12 months.

This reframing of our approach transforms resolutions into deliberate choices. Instead of starting from scratch, we build upon the foundations of what we know has worked for us before. It's a process that demands honesty with oneself and a commitment to nurturing and embedding those positive elements into our lives.

As we embrace the power of reflection, respond with intentionality, and refocus on what truly matters, we are paving the way for a new year that is not just filled with goals and achievements. Instead, it is created from a highlights reel that we know will bring challenge, but along with that, it brings genuine contentment and fulfillment.

Cheers to a purposeful 2024! May yours be filled with more of the good stuff that lights you up and leaves you feeling energised and prepared for whatever comes next.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses her unfamiliar feelings of being disenchanted, disillusioned, and even disappointed with Christmas, and how a small reminder of the importance of showing kindness to others, reignited her festive spirits.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Surprisingly, I am feeling a little Grinchy for this time of year. This is a new sensation for me, usually the first to get swept up in the spirit and fun that coincides with end of year festivities, advent calendars and the glitter of fairy lights as they dance in trees and sparkle on balconies and roof tops.  Instead, my usual yuletide enthusiasm has been replaced with ‘dis’ words, unfamiliar feelings of being disenchanted, disillusioned, and even disappointed. The promise of joy, love, connection, and peace that usually accompanies this time of year seems to have dissolved within me and completely lost its magic.  

Curious. So completely out of character. And yet, after some reflection, the reasons for my Christmas apathy are probably not all that surprising.

Initially, I put it down to fatigue. 2023 has been a big one, lots of challenges and opportunities, along with some struggles that have left me a little winded. The reality when you get the wind knocked out of you is that you don’t always allow adequate time to recover. Instead, you jump up and get straight back into the ring, failing to deal with any lingering feelings of pain and discomfort. Even though my emotional load has been accumulating over the last 12 months, I am confident that this isn’t the only thing that has started to dim the spark of what used to be my Christmas spirit.

So, if this isn’t the cause, what could it be?

After some soul searching what I discovered was that the real reason Christmas felt out of step this year was less about me and more about the event. The promises, rituals and traditions associated with the festive season seemed to be losing their specialness. More than that, they seemed to be losing their meaningfulness.

The lead up to Christmas now starts as early as August in some retailers, with ‘Christmas creep’ seeking to take advantage of those willing to overindulge as they aim to bring joy to others. This type of joy is manufactured through the promise of creating a ‘proper Christmas experience’ for loved ones. While it is not the gamechanger that clever advertisers will want us to believe, it can create an instant dopamine hit as we anticipate the joy that others will experience through our generous gift giving.  I completely get it - we could all use a few more of those precious dopamine hits at the moment.

So perhaps it is just me, and given that Christmas is almost here, it is me that needs a change of perspective. Unfortunately, the reality of personal experience and challenge can sometimes derail my best intentions. One less at our dinner table this year is a painful reminder of the loss and grief that my family lives with.  The number of people experiencing loneliness, homelessness and violence is on the rise. Working in this space, I am continually reminded that the services that we provide are vital, yet they cannot keep up with the demand and level of need within our community.

But there is hope, and recently I was buoyed after watching the 2-minute Christmas advertisement for Charlie's Bar, Enniskillen (search for it on YouTube or copy the link at the end of this article). The clip reminded me of the importance of showing kindness to others, because the reality is that you never really know what is going on behind the scenes for someone else. It could be a stranger, a neighbour, a friend, or a family member.  In the video, an elderly man is laying flowers on a grave, and passes through the streets without acknowledgement from anyone around him. Until he sits in Charlie’s Bar in Enniskillen and orders himself a beer.

I won’t spoil the ending as I want you to watch the video, but I will tell you that this video flicked a switch within me. It reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas, and the power that lies within each of us to show kindness and hope to others.

Charlie's Bar, Enniskillen Christmas Ad! Featuring Birdy – People Help the People

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week, Tanya reflects on Christmas, a time of warmth and celebration for some and, for others, a time of challenges which can overshadow the holiday season.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

As the festive season approaches, it is with a mix of joy and sensitivity that I reflect on the nuances of Christmas, a time traditionally associated with warmth, togetherness, and celebration. In this reflection, I acknowledge the very real challenges that many individuals and families face during this season, from the burdens of the cost of living to the weight of loneliness that can overshadow the holiday cheer.

The reality is that not everyone has a supportive network or a family to share the joy with. The emphasis on family and social connections during this time can accentuate feelings of isolation for those who are estranged from their families, have lost loved ones, or are geographically distant from their support systems.

Social expectations and the pervasive images of joyful celebrations can exacerbate the sense of loneliness for individuals who may be spending the holidays alone. The contrast between the festive atmosphere and one's personal circumstances can be a stark reminder of what is lacking, intensifying the emotional impact of isolation.

In an era marked by economic uncertainties and the constant struggle to make ends meet, the financial strain associated with Christmas can be particularly daunting. The pressure to provide a picture-perfect celebration often clashes with the realities of a tight budget.

Societies' emphasis on gift-giving and lavish celebrations can contribute to a sense of exclusion for those who cannot afford to participate in such activities. The commercialisation of Christmas may inadvertently deepen the divide between those who can partake in the material aspects of the season and those who cannot.

Volunteering time, acts of kindness, reaching out to those who may be feeling lonely, and supporting initiatives that address financial hardships can help alleviate the burdens that some may carry during this time.

In Bundaberg, there are various organisations that can help. Angel’s Community Group, Angel’s Santa Assistance program provides food hampers for families and gifts (toys) for children 0-17 years. Bundaberg Regional Council’s Mayor’s Christmas Cheer Appeal is working with local churches and charity groups on the frontline of support services to deliver Christmas hampers.

It is heartening to witness the collective efforts of these organisations and the wider community dedicated to making a positive impact during the festive season.

Embracing the true spirit of the season involves not only celebrating joyfully with those around us but also extending kindness and consideration to those who may be need a little extra support. Together, we can create a community where the true spirit of Christmas, marked by kindness, understanding, and generosity, shines brightly for all.

Please note: This website may contain references to, or feature images, videos, and voices of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have passed away.

envelopephonemap-marker icon-angle icon-bars icon-times
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram